More than this
by tomoyohime8
Summary: “Their story was doomed before it even started; labeled a tragedy before it could ever have been called a romance.” clowxyuuko, written for darksage29 of LJ, dimension shop fic exchange, female character round.


Title: More than this

Author: tomoyohime8

Recipient: darksage29

Series: xxxHolic/CCS/TRC interuniverse

Characters: ClowxYuuko

Rating: PG-13 for one swearword

Warnings: angst.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, or settings, nor do I receive money from this work. They all belong to CLAMP.

Love to my betas, sillyangelfaery and imladra. You've been awesome. XD

She knew him before she ever met him, one night in a dream. It told her where to find him, how to get there.

It is exactly as how she dreamt it, a small, narrow alleyway in front of her, between a famous fireworks maker's store and a bakery. The lights from the fires flicker, and the alleyway seems to disappear and reappear with the light.

She hurries into the dark alley and crosses it to the end, parting the beads that cover the entrance to a room that was most definitely _not_ there before.

"Welcome," he says, before she even steps in.

_He will change your future._

"I've been expecting you - which name would you prefer I call you by?" the spectacled man continues. The light from the flickering candles reflects off them, obscuring his eyes from view. He gestures at her to sit – a place has been set for her across the small table.

_You will change his heart._

He smiles and pours out tea for both of them – Jasmine, her favourite.

_Together,_ the dream told her_, you will change the world._

"You may call me Yuuko."

* * *

They stand side by side, gazing down upon the sleeping creatures.

"Soel and Larg," he says matter-of-factly.

Yuuko snorts. "How poetic of you, Clow."

He only smiles at her – the smile that she always insists is actually a smirk in disguise. She is both annoyed and amused, unsurprisingly.

"Impressed?"

"I'm not even going to answer that." She looks down again upon the Mokona, running one slim finger gently over the blue stone.

She wishes – she shakes her head. This was dangerous territory.

As if he could read her mind, Clow slips an arm around her, pulling her close. She feels his breath on her hair, and she calms down. His skin is warm.

"They're only to be used as a last resort," she reminds him.

"I promise to find other alternatives. I'm sure everything will be alright." he assures her.

She wishes she could believe him.

* * *

She is furious – at him, for throwing everything – _everything _– away for a mere _possibility_, and furious at herself for being unable to do anything to stop it.

"Is there no other way, Clow, something that doesn't involve _draining your life_?"

He smiles sadly at her. "There's no time left. It must be now."

"But – ", she starts to protest, but he puts a finger against her lips and she growls in frustration.

A storm is brewing outside – a blizzard, most likely.

"You'll take care of the Book, and of Cerberus and Yue, won't you?"

"You don't even have to ask – you know I'd do it anyway."

"Thank you, Yuuko."

She clenches her fists, and she glares at him, to no effect.

"Yuuko –will you promise me something?"

"It depends – what is it?"

"Don't cry for me."

"...Idiot. You can be the most _selfish bastard_, sometimes."

She turns to leave. "I'll come back for the book later. I might not be able to do anything to stop you – but I'll be damned if I have to watch."

It's not until he has finished sealing Cerberus and Yue into the Book that he realizes she never promised him anything.

* * *

He hesitates, just a little. But it's not enough to make him change his mind.

This is more than him, more than them, more than anything they could ever have had together.

Even if she hates it, she understands, they both do.

The dream must end.

_It's a beautiful day to die._

* * *

It rings through her the moment he's gone. She feels the impact of the magic that was released with his death.

It isn't until then that she realizes that she is alone now, and she always will be.

_He's not ever going to come back._

She mustn't dwell on it – she can't. She's got a job to do.

But for tonight, for _one fucking night_, she's not going to think about it.

She struggles to open the bottle – she should have had Kakei open it for her when she bought it. The liquid burns its way down her throat and she coughs – she wonders if she'll ever get used to the taste.

Her hands are shaking and she almost drops the cup. It's working at least – she can feel the corners of her mind starting to blur.

She clutches the Book to her chest – tomorrow, tomorrow she was going to continue with the plan.

Tonight, she was going to break the promise she never made.

* * *

"Your name now is Hiiragizawa Eriol, but once you were a man named Clow Reed."

It's amazing how much the little boy looks like Clow Reed – half of him, anyway. Eriol has Clow's appearance, and his magic.

But it's the other half, Fujitaka, who has Clow's smile, and Clow's heart.

They're so much like him that it sometimes makes her hurt – but they're not him, and they will _never _be him, even if they were reborn a thousand times over. He's never coming back.

She reminds herself, over and over again, what this is all for.

* * *

She watches them sometimes, watches the little family in their apartment in Tokyo. The mother teaches a solemn little boy to play the piano, while a baby girl sleeps peacefully in the middle of the room. She watches the father coming home after a long day teaching, ruffling his son's hair and giving his wife a kiss, smiling at his sleeping daughter.

Three years later, she goes to a funeral, staying on the outskirts of the crowd, crimson eyes becoming almost as black as the clothes she was wearing.

Five years later, she slips an old, red, leather-bound book into the lower level of a bookshelf in the basement of a little house in Tomoeda – a little house she arranges to be sold at a very low price, just enough for a widower with young small children to afford . In a few weeks, dust settles on all the books, and the large red book looks unremarkable, just like the others.

Two years later, she arranges the transfer of a student named Tsukishiro Yukito to Seijou High school.

_There is no such thing as coincidence, only hitsuzen._

* * *

"Are you... the dimension witch?"

It's finally come, Yuuko thinks, the day that they'd both been waiting for, working for.

Everything has finally come full circle.

"Yes," she answers, "I am called that, among other things. You may call me Yuuko, if you'd like."

"I have heard that you grant wishes."

She clasps at a pendant at her throat. Yuuko motions for her to sit, and she does.

"I do, for a price," Yuuko tells her.

She takes a deep breath before speaking.

"I had a dream, last night, showing me something happening in... another world. My son is involved – he is resolved to go. I cannot send him – but, I have heard that you can. What would be the price, if I ask you to send him there?"

"Your wand."

She seems resigned – her husband must have told her what the prices usually amounted to.

She closes her eyes for a moment, and then raises her hands to behind her neck to remove the chain. She takes the pendant into her hands and presses her lips against it, before handing it over to Yuuko.

"The dream must end," Sakura says, and makes her wish.

* * *

She remembers how "Syaoran" looked the day she sent him off to Clow country, a solemn, steadfast little boy so much like his father once was.

And now she watches another little boy – "Syaoran", but not "Syaoran" – sleeping soundly in the middle of an empty apartment, clutching a photograph of the parents he will never see again.

_Kimihiro._

"Everything will be alright," a voice whispers into the night.

_Everything will surely be alright._


End file.
